Since I Left You
Not a great weekend then?
Nah, not really. I saw Ricky Gervais’s new film which is soul destroyingly bad.
Thoughts Of A Man Watching A Europa League Match
Andy Johnson must spend at least 73% of his waking hours either in the process of falling over or actually on the ground. It can’t be much fun for the poor lad, existing purely to win deadball kicks for Danny Murphy. I suppose he is getting well paid for it though, unlike the Portsmouth players who aren’t getting paid at all at the moment due the football club having ‘no money left’.
LLO Admin
Beck In The USA
Nathan and Jen from excellent website LA Galaxy Offside give us an insight into how Mr Posh Spice is viewed by football fans in L.A.
The ABC of the MLS
So my original plan was to write a long and worthy article about D-Beck in the USA. About how the former England captain had headed off to LA in a strop after stepping down as England captain, thinking it would be more fun to hang out with Tomkat in LA than to wind down his career as a bit part player at Madrid.
However it turns out that someone much more capable had that idea before me.
The Greatest Football Video Games In The World...Ever!
As the world patiently waits for the next versions of Pro Evolution Soccer and FIFA to be released LLO take a trip down computerised memory lane to remember the greatest pixelised versions of the Beautiful Game from the past thirty years.
Read More...Designer Soccer Jeans
The world was a much better place when this was the full extent of club’s attempts to ‘monetise’ their fans loyalty.
"I'm the Liverpool star those b*tches are loving"
Based on his form over the past two years Mr Babel rapping about his football skills is like Joey Barton rapping about his diplomacy skills.
Actually, that sounds like a great idea and will hopefully be the first release on LLO Records sometime next year. Read More...
Premiership I-Spy
‘The Greatest League In The World’™is about to kick off and to make the best day of the year even more thrilling we’re giving you the chance to play the Official LLO Premiership I-Spy game.
Points are award for spotting any of the items below and the person with the most points at the end of the weekend wins a smug sense of satisfaction. Happy spotting!
Premier League Preview 2009/10 - Part 1
After spending the past few weeks having to pretend that the Asia Cup/Emirates Cup/Merlion Cup are important, the Premier League is thankfully back this weekend. To help you make sense of what’s going to happen in the next nine months we’ve asked top bloggers from around the web for their views on how they believe their teams will fare in the next nine months.
And if they wouldn’t tell us we’ve resorted to asking the ever reliable LLO Jack Nicholson Truthometer 2000.
LLO Weekly Round Up - 2nd August 2009
- Remembered Bobby Robson. A man who proved that good guys can win, look at this list of trophies
- Listened to the Silkie album over and over and over again.
- Ordered a ‘Personal Urn’ in the shape of our own head.
- Regretted not going to the Wickerman festival.
- Followed Darren Bent on Twitter.
RIP Sir Bobby
“Still, he liked going to the games. He liked having so many people recognise him among the stewards and the fans and the car park attendants - he signed programme after programme, uncomplaining. He said ‘I suppose one day I’ll come and no-one will know me anymore. I’ll be praying to be recognised then”
from All Played Out by Pete Davies.
Read More...LLO Weekly Round Up - 26th July 2009
What have we done this week?
- Worried about editorial independence at The Onion after its takeover by Chinese conglomerate Yu Wan Mei Amalgamated Salvage Fisheries and Polymer Injection Group
- Wagered £10 on Steven ‘Lights Out’ Gerrard adding the Ring Magazine’s Fighter of the Year prize to his PFA Player of the Year award
- Slept outside Sports Direct overnight to ensure we could buy the new Newcastle kit before stocks ran out
- Wondered how it’s possible to write a full page article and be this outraged about a film you haven’t seen
- Wanted to live on the Moon
Ramble On: LLO Meets Jim from 'The Football Ramble'
The defining ethos of the 1970’s punk movement was 'anyone can do it'. Anyone can start a band, anyone can play guitar, anyone can become famous and anyone can sell butter to the masses. In the new millennium advances in technology have meant that this idea has extended to the media. Now anyone can set up a website, anyone can make a film, anyone can become a journalist and anyone can broadcast their thoughts about any subject to the whole world at minimal cost.
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Hero: The Official Film of the 1986 FIFA World Cup
The mid-80s wasn't a great time to be an armchair football fan. Live matches on TV were kept to a minimum due to the Football League's fear that it would stop people going to the games and the few highlight programmes which were shown were bland affairs, a million miles from the CGI-heavy ‘The Day Today on stimulants’ coverage that we’re used to today.
A Visual Explanation Of Why Liverpool Were In Decline In The 90s
Can you image Shankly, Paisley, Fagan or Dalglish wearing those swimming trunks? You can? You obviously have a much more vivid imagination than me.
Courtesy of FourFourTwo’s ‘Footballers On Holiday’ feature this month.
3 Minutes 10 Seconds Which Explains Why Footballers Are Paid So Well Today
Society is now a better place now footballers no longer have to top up their wage packet by recording songs like this:
Oei Oei Oei by Johan Cruyff
The Numskulls in Alex Ferguson's Head
The Madness of Madrid
LLOJNT2000 UPDATE: It looks like Benzema is going to join Madrid’s experiment to discover whether 0-0-10 is a viable formation for a football team. That’s good for lovers of crazy football tactics and bad for the designers of the LLOJNT2000.
JFK, Robinho and Titus
Finally the Champions League Final and the FA Cup Final and the World Cup Qualifiers and the Confederations Cup and the U21 Championship are out of the way and we can all lie back and bathe in a big steamy vat of transfer ‘gossip’ for a few weeks and start thinking about what next season might bring.
Unfortunately there’s only one person in the world can accurately predict the future and he’s rather busy at the moment appearing on TV News shows. Therefore instead of looking forward, LLO brings you a list of ten events from the 2008-09 season which you’d have been burnt alive for predicting last June.
1. JFK getting a job managing a Premiership team
2. Robinho signing for Man City
3. Liverpool and Chelsea playing a match in the Champions League which is an exciting goalfest
4. Ryan Giggs winning PFA Player of The Year award
5. Fulham finishing in a UEFA Cup place in the league
6. Real Madrid signing Kaka AND Christiano Ronaldo
7. Titus Bramble looking like a competent professional footballer
8. Spurs first choice strike partnership being Keane and Defoe
9. Big Phil ending the season managing a team in Uzbekistan
10. The human brain being able to design a football kit which looks like this
England vs Germany Under 21 Final - The Last 15 Minutes
21.17 Wagner misses from one yard out. Could be the turning point. Probably won't be.
21.18 Micah Richards is going up front. What a bizarre move, it's the final of a major tournament and we're resorting to putting the big man defender upfront. Surely we should have another real forward to fill in.
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Rapping Footballer Of The Day
Clint Dempsey may have been a loser in the Confederations Cup final tonight but surely gaining the LLO gong for being the Premiership's best MC will more than make up for that.
Deuce, we salute you.
Low-Life Opinions Jack Nicholson Truthometer 2000
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The Sun Will Already Be Consulting Their 'Bumper Book of Anti-German Headlines'
Ropey Puppet-Based Comedy
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What if becoming a pastry bust is as good as it gets?
Great Angry Goal Celebrations #459
David Villa. South Africa vs Spain. 20th June 2009
He gets extra "Angry Points" for nearly falling over after he kicks the corner flag before managing to regain his composure in a split second.